Is your older brother hot
why are men always spitting all over the sidewalk? do men create more saliva than women and need to get rid of it? are they marking their territory? what’s going on?
They can’t swallow because that’s gay
(Source: middleshiner-archive, via sailorp00n)
One day you lose something, and you say: ‘Oh my God. I was happy. And I didn’t even know it.’
Whenever you’re going through a bad day just remember, your track record for getting through bad days, so far, is 100%; and that’s pretty damn good.
I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.
no kissing emoticon before marriage
(Source: nothingcompares2ubysineadoconnor, via guy)
We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.
when you flawlessly execute an insult